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4.9 ★★★★★
Based on 16 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Good Reminders to Parents & Kids, e.g., Identifying Something as "Funny" Does Not Make It Less Hurtful
Format: Paperback
What Were You Thinking? by Bryan Smith and illustrated by Lisa M. Griffin addresses common moments from a child’s life. As many parents and teachers can vouch, the answer to the title question is frequently that the child wasn’t thinking at all; they operated on impulse. Or, they were thinking but their behavior was highly unlikely to produce their expected result.
This book helps kids see that doing the first thing that comes to mind may not be their best choice. It might even accomplish the opposite of their intended goal. It also shows how kids sometimes expect something to be funny when it can actually cause others–classmates, teachers, coaches and parents– to be annoyed instead of entertained. Sometimes the “cost” of the laughter they seek, far exceeds the momentary rush of any attention.
The illustrations invite exploration of the book’s theme and make obvious that Braden’s idea of funny does not necessarily match his classmates” feelings. This can lead to conversations about the range of responses one can see within an entire classroom of kids.
What Were You Thinking? outlines a simple four step strategy which kids can practice to help them smooth out their responses and ensure that the result they get is the one which they want. A brief Tips for Parents and Educators is included which offers further information on how to guide children to develop better impulse control. Can also open conversation about intentions & how humor doesn’t lessen the pain of hurtful remarks/behavior.
AQ Lens: Kids who have experienced trauma, grief and or loss may have weak impulse control, high distractibility. Or they may have been taught negative and/or inadequate behavior strategies. In addition to learning better strategies, these kids may also have to unlearn negative strategies.
This book offers another tool for helping kids fine-tune their emotional literacy and expand their menu of choices. By exploring the gap between intended goal and actual results, families can teach kids to recognize and choose strategies that serves them better.
--Gayle H. Swift, ABC, Adoption & Me: A Multicultural Picture Book"
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Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2016
★★★★★ 5
Son's behavior changed immediately!
Format: Paperback
Our 4-yr-old son was not following directions at school. His teacher had come back from maternity leave and he had gotten into some bad habits while she was gone. After reading this book he memorized all the steps and repeats them multiple times a day. It's only been one week but he has been a different child entirely -- an angel!
We had been talking to him for 9 months about "making good choices" but had never qualified that a good choice was one that makes the situation better (and a bad choice one that makes the situation worse). Apparently that was key! I'm not surprised that this was written by an educator who probably saw a lot of success by clarifying this distinction with his students.
I'm sure my son's amazing behavior won't last forever, but it's great to simply know that he has it in him to control his impulses. We are going to make little print-outs of the 4 steps to let him have them at school and share these tips with his teacher so she can prompt him with the same language.
Great, great book!
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Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2019
★★★★★ 4
Helpful for learning impulse control
Format: Paperback, Format: Paperback
This book helped to remind my grandson to use the four steps to work on becoming an "impulse expert".
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Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Every kid needs to know what’s in this book!
Format: Paperback
I ordered this for my grandson, it’s a fabulous book! It really made him think and he wanted me to laminate the teachers rules!
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Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Excellent! Interests son w/ relatable situations, upbeat tone, & teaches to think before acting.
Format: Paperback
Kid & parent approved! Excellent book that really engages my five-year-old son. It has relatable scenarios that gets kids thinking & teaches them to think things through before acting (impulse control) to make better choices, without talking down to them, in a fun upbeat tone. My son has asked to read the book over and over. I think he likes the realistic writing style & illustrations too. The author, a former school counselor, clearly gets kids. It is a great tool for our family. I have since bought multiple books from this author. Highly recommend!
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Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2019